Sarah
Novice
Official Secretary to "El Presidente"
Posts: 51
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Post by Sarah on Jan 28, 2010 22:56:40 GMT -6
Its hands search the ground, sweeping across the drying grass. Twirling, curling, it never stops.
Ruining hopes of the proud, Watching, waiting, for a chance. Twirling, curling, it never stops.
Never changing, always the same. Strong, destructive, looking to eliminate. Twirling, curling, it never stops.
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scott
Novice
Cabbage- Venetian Snares
Posts: 11
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Post by scott on Jan 29, 2010 13:08:41 GMT -6
Yay! (I know this isn't exactly critical thinking, but I like it.) Free Verse.
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Post by Edward Cheever on Mar 30, 2010 0:02:29 GMT -6
Aw! But I like Autumn. Poor Autumn winds gets a bad wrap. Oh, and the hands imagery makes it feel grope-y O.O
I don't have much to add or suggest at the moment, but thee is one thing... "destructive, looking to destroy" it's... well it's a tad repetitive here... I would simply suggest using another word choice for one of them.
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Sarah
Novice
Official Secretary to "El Presidente"
Posts: 51
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Post by Sarah on Mar 31, 2010 8:12:33 GMT -6
Aw! But I like Autumn. Poor Autumn winds gets a bad wrap. Oh, and the hands imagery makes it feel grope-y O.O I don't have much to add or suggest at the moment, but thee is one thing... "destructive, looking to destroy" it's... well it's a tad repetitive here... I would simply suggest using another word choice for one of them. lol I love Autumn wind. I was just in a mood. lol. grope-y?? lol That is funny. Ohh you know I didn't even realize that I repeated my self like that. haha. Thanks Edward!
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