Re: New to this...be kind....

[tassadar]

This is what I ended up submitting.

“Original Syntax”


The binary canary sings its hymn

Taking flight with the electric wind

Singing for its master, none other than Him

Guided only by faith, in the Light within

The infect insect begins to creep

Sneaking around while the master sleeps

“Don’t mind me” the creature of the darkness begins to speak

“For I am ‘Trojan, the Benevolent’ and I come to you in peace”

“If you would but only let down your guard and allow me to breach”

“In return, I shall give you the worms which even He cannot reach”

Falling to the temptations of the leach

It begins to notice errors in its speech

Yet, the binary canary tries to stay calm

Hoping and praying, it sings its psalm

Hearing its call is Norton of cnet.com

Banishing the insect, restoring its song

[glen]

Are you going to want to submit this poem to the contest with the comments in red? If not, then I would remove them from your submission.

Just a thought.

[Sarah]

I like this. It's different, which is why I like it.

[Edward Cheever]

lol. I like the sudden deus ex machina of Norton suddenly swooping in and fixing everything.